Love absent, not inward.

She loves me - but I scorn her,
Sometimes those hugs are just too tight!
I see a hatred now in Christmas
Where I used to see a light.
Asked what's the engine
Of my horror and my crime?
It travels down my arms,
A beating vengeance of mine.
I kick against the pricks
And pull her body into mine,
With every in and outward thrust,
I fear my heart is on the line.
There are lies now
Flooding through my eyes now,
There seems no innocence
In the fornication you endow.

To the east I see her mountains
Where my hands swim through their skin,
My fingers tremble with my lips as
I try to cover where I've been.
The lies are sifting through my teeth
So much I feel them start to crack.
There is gossip spewing from your mouths,
As hatred builds upon my back.
I realize happiness floats
Somewhere deep inside my head,
But right now loneliness and darkness
Seem to pull me into bed.
My laugh is cold and
Resentful of my faking,
My life sits patiently
Waiting for my taking.
But, when I start to stand
It further crystallizes,
I think 'This night has gone too long!'
And then the sun rises.